A newly converted rat has a birthday

[inthesaferoom]

Let's hope no ghosts or babies crash the party. Maybe babies I guess, as long as they stay on the insides.

Comments

How did I not get this notification

[inthesaferoom]

In what world?

[ Grumble grumble grumble. He considers what to do next then, even though he'll regret the loss, he takes his pillow and tosses it at his face.

Whoops, bratting here. ]

betrayed by the notification 🙀

[ratmanreed]

[ Gavin takes the pillow to his face like a champ. Patting it once he has it in his lap. ]

Not giving this back, you know. You’re lucky I can’t throw this at you.

[ He shrugs. ]

If you just... tell me what you want. Maybe I’ll do it. This one time.

CW description of rough medical procedure

[inthesaferoom]

You.

[ He says it as if it should be obvious, but also as if this is something (someone) he's unquenchably desperate for. Not in a sexual way, that's for times he didn't just get his chest cut open while under, his breastbone split in half and ribs pulled apart. Put plainly, horny shit is far from his mind, thanks.

But emotionally? Yeah, that's something else. But he's been keeping it to himself, stuffing it deep inside. But not if he's being prompted like that. ]

You said you won't come into the bed but at least be closer. At least.

[ratmanreed]

[ Gavin picks up his stupidly small chair. Gets it as close as he can to the bed. ]

Happy?

[ He doesn’t sit down just yet, though; looming over Mike instead. Looking down at him as he fusses with his blankets. Soft expression on his face: uncomfortably vulnerable. ]

Lift your head up. You need your pillow more than me.

[ If Mike acquiesces, Gavin will slip it beneath his head. ]

Got that oversized head of yours.

[inthesaferoom]

It's not -

[ He definitely let him put the pillow in place but he grabs for Gavin's hand before he can withdraw it.

If he manages to take it, he'll just look at him and hold it tightly without saying a damn thing. ]

[ratmanreed]

[ Gavin doesn’t even try pulling away. Doesn’t have it in him. ]

I’m not leaving. If I haven’t made that abundantly clear by now. Your weirdo brother might swing by, but I’m not leaving now. Or anytime soon.

[inthesaferoom]

So it's definitely me being a Hargreeves then.

You know how many dipshits this makes you related to, right? A whole lot of dipshits.

[ For the first time in this whole fucking thing,

he smiles. ]

[ratmanreed]

Whatever will I do, huh? Surrounded by dipshits.

[ Gavin offers his own soft smile. Gaze flitting down to his hand in Mike’s. ]

I’m happy for you. Really.

[inthesaferoom]

It's not - all great. But maybe it explains the ghost shit.

It means we have to look into it. What it might mean for the crickets.

[ Yeah, he just decided a random pet name for the babies by himself. So what?

He holds on a little tighter. ]

I haven't - seen anything since I woke up, you know? It's kinda worrying.

[ratmanreed]

No, not all great. I wanted this for you, though. Family. When Klaus brought up the possibility… I just. Y’know.

[ He shrugs. ]

Wanted it to be true. I know you have your friends, or whatever, but I just wanted you to feel like you’re less alone in the world. All that.

[ Clearing his throat, then: ]

The… crickets?

[ From the context, sure, Gavin gets the hint that Mike’s talking about the kiddos. But still, he has to ask. Wry little smirk on his face.

The smirk falls before long, though. ]

And that’s… bad. Not seeing things. Obviously. Since it must’ve been caused by something, yeah? Near-death, maybe?

[inthesaferoom]

Friends?

[ He just looks completely confused at the idea. But he moves on quickly, because that's uncomfortable, and he wants to explain the nickname. ]

Doesn't it feel like that? When there's movement? Kind of like fluttering?

[ Butterfly would probably make more sense but he's not? Touching that, thanks? ]

Could just be the meds but even before that, I wasn't.

[ratmanreed]

Yeah, I guess it does kind of feel like that. Fluttering. Cute, though. Crickets.

[ You’re cute, he thinks. But that feels weird to mention. It always has, but now it almost feels wrong. As if Gavin isn’t allowed to say those sorts of things.

Again he has a small smile on his lips, but it dissipates quickly. They went from pistol-whipping to weird, antagonistic fuck buddies to lovers to dating to engaged, and now…? Gavin’s not sure what they are. ]

Would you… miss it? If it never came back. You seeing things.

[inthesaferoom]

What about it is cute?

[ Just grumbling here, but then he has to think about that question and he's distracted. He considers it, it's difficult to answer?

Complicated. He hates complicated, can shit being that stop being an integral part of his life, thanks? ]

I don't know. It feels like I need it to actually be worth something.

[ratmanreed]

[ Gavin rolls his eyes. ]

Any baby of yours is gonna be cute, dipshit.

[ Specifically “yours.” ]

And it’s cute that you… love them already. I dunno what I would’ve done if you’d reacted differently. Even without the whole alien ghostie angle, I mean. I’ve never been with someone who wanted kids. I’ve never been…

[ Shifting his feet awkwardly. ]

Never been the kind of person someone would want to have kids with, you know? Definitely not even as a last resort, either. More like “I’d rather die than have kids with you, thanks.”

But — [ gaze snapping back to Mike’s ] — you don’t need all that. To be worth something to me. If that means anything.

[inthesaferoom]

Any baby of ours. [ Smoothly correcting that. He doesn't care if there's a chance that other asshole is the one who put this creature of a child inside of him, he doesn't fucking count. And even so, the one inside Gavin is both of theirs for sure. ]

You've only never been that person because you hadn't met me yet. I wouldn't want them if it was anyone else.

I know that for a fact, it's not like girls haven't tried to lie about it before. Never fucking cared, but you? You're the guy who tells me I'm worth something and sticks around here, taking care of me, when I did something most people would leave over.

I don't fucking care what flaws people hold against you. You treat me better than anyone ever has.

[ratmanreed]

Never thought I’d hear something like that. Me treating someone good. I mean...

[ Trying to pull his hand back, now. Not forcing it. ]

I’m not doing anything special here, Mike. You’ve just apparently been with assholes. And you deserve better.

[ Still do. ]

What you did doesn’t make you worthless, or something. Not taking very good care of you, though. Mostly just bitching. But I know that leaving right now would fuck me up, and it seems like it’d fuck you up, so why hurt us both like that? Why do that?

I exist in rp again lol

[inthesaferoom]

[ Yeah no, he's going to have to try harder to get that hand back. It's not like Mike is even slightly strong right now, but he's still going to hold on with everything he's got. Not even going to bother apologizing for it, either. ]

If it only 'seems' like I want you around, I'm not doing my job well. That's a fucking fact.

[ He's just going to raise that hand to his lips and place a gentle kiss. He might not be the most present right now, but he can still show proper affection, dammit. ]

I went trawling I FOUND THE THREAD

[ratmanreed]

That’s not your job.

[ ...Except it kind of is, but it doesn’t feel right to need that reassurance. As if by being whatever they are — partners? — it should be enough for Gavin.

But it’s not, because Gavin is a greedy, complicated man who hears “I love you” and thinks: “but do you? And how long might that even last, really?”

It’s endearing how sweet Mike still is with him. That means something, shows a lot — but it feels like pieces of a puzzle that just aren’t clicking. Not yet.

But with time, maybe the edges will smooth out. Fit better together. ]

If you don’t give me my hand back, I can’t do that weird thing I was gonna do.

[ This is a lie. He just wants to feel more in control. ]

[inthesaferoom]

I know it's not actually my fucking job. But it's what I want to be doing.

[ Especially now that it's so clear exactly how much he fucked up and nearly lost everything. Not just his life, not even just this baby inside, but everything he has with this man and relies on being there.

He doesn't want to live without him. But he also doesn't want Gavin to suffer from being around. That's definitely something he's made happen right now, fuck.

But he's tried to get him to leave and that backfired, too. What is he supposed to do, then? He tries to focus on his face and raises his eyebrows. He feels fine all of a sudden, like the pain meds are actually working, or maybe like he doesn't need anything else but this man. He's not 100% immediately present but he understands what is being said. And he's into it. ]

Better be fun.

[ Whatever that means. He lets go and pushes the disappoinment of losing this touch off his face. Still, it's stark and clear for a moment or two. ]

[ratmanreed]

I know you fuckin’ know, dumbass. It’s just —

[ Gavin shouldn’t need this reassurance. Regardless of what happened. But he was already a mess of insecurities before, and now...? ]

It is fun. Obviously.

[ He scans the room. Sure, Gavin has an idea but isn’t sure how he wants to go about it. He figures Mike is probably tired of being in bed, so he turns to pull the chair closer. ]

Sit down for me. And don’t bitch about it — I know it’s a shitty chair. It’s just for a minute.

[inthesaferoom]

Not going to bitch.

[ He's not! Okay, probably he would usually, but that's not how he's feeling at the moment. It takes more effort to shift over than it feels like it should, but he's working on reserves that are boosted by the meds working great right now.

So, even though it might take a little assistance, he gets over into the chair. Yeah, it does feel better than the bed right now. Less like he's stuck in the consequences of his own fucking actions. He looks up at him, prompting. ]

Hope that got me a treat. A weird one apparently.

autocorrect like “sirs, not sits” and I’m like yeah

[ratmanreed]

When aren’t we getting into weird shit?

[ Gavin helps Mike over to the chair. Keeps one hand curled over his shoulder as he sits. ]

You gotta pick: high or low.

[ Or both? Both is technically a secret third option.

He likes looking down at Mike, though. It makes him feel stronger — in a way he needs right now. As if he has power over anything. ]

But first.

[ Gavin takes Mike’s hands: first one, then the other. Leading them to his own hips. ]

Tell me you love me.

[ It’s not “do you love me?” but it’s still a question. Needy. Forever desperate to feel wanted, because when won’t he? When will this worry stop? ]

Mike trying to do something but he's drugged. whoops, novel about rat love.

[inthesaferoom]

Both? Can I say both?

[ He has no idea what any of the options mean, thanks. He just wants everything he can get from him. He's always greedy about Gavin but especially now, after everything that happened. Yeah, he doesn't deserve to keep him, but if he somehow lucked into doing so? He's taking everything, every single drop of attention.

He holds onto his hips with a careful touch, almost like he's thinking if he holds too tight, the guy will fly away like some sort of rat pigeon. ]

Going to keep telling me what to do? Could get into it, sir.

[ He's looking at him like if he looks away, he'll never see him again. Like he's memorizing every single detail of every single feature, even if he knows them better than his own by now.

He licks his lips, dwelling for a moment with his tongue over the scar in the corner of his mouth. ]

Sure. Because I do, you know. Love you.

[ His eyes close slightly, peering up at him from under those damn long lashes. Maybe Mike has the beautiful face, but nobody's ever been drawn to him like the way he can't forget this man. ]

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

[ Oh. Oh god, he's doing something. Except his brain is fuzzy enough he's not sure he can remember the old poem well enough.

He ends up skipping a lot. ]

I love thee with the passion put to use - in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith?

[ Hmm. He considers for a moment, then drops it. ]

Don't care about anyone else even a tenth as much.

we stan Mike and his rat loving. ratetry

[ratmanreed]

[ Gavin almost tells Mike that no, he doesn’t get to pick both, just to be contrary. But he snaps his mouth shut for a second instead. Eyes thinned. ]

God, you are high as hell, aren’t you?

[ He smoothes his hands up over the slopes of Mike’s shoulders. Inching up his neck. Cupping his jaw. ]

But you’re a cute motherfucker, yeah? Always gotta be all extra.

[ Like the whole proposal thing: blowing up Grady’s car. Crawling on his knees.

There’s a pang of sadness in Gavin’s chest at the thought. He had no idea what was coming. How close he was to losing Mike.

Maybe still is. ]

Tell me you want me.

[ Not just him. He’s not stupid enough to ask for that again. But he wants to hear it, regardless.

Running a thumb over Mike’s lips now. Gazing down at those dopey eyes. ]

I'm just looking at all this like remember being annoyed enough to pistolwhip, Mike. What an arc

[inthesaferoom]

If I'm a cute motherfucker, you're an adorable daddy diddler.

[ That probably answers if he's high. Let's move on. Because he is, closing his eyes as he's touched, pressing a kiss against that thumb.

And yeah, he's going to be a little extra. ]

Want you. Want everything you'll give me. One look is enough to keep me going for days, except how it'll make me crave more.

You think I'm ever thinking about anything else? Even if I am, it's competing for mental space with you.

[ He slips towards the edge of the chair, turning his grip on Gavin's hips into an embrace, holding onto his waist. Pressing his face against him and exhaling as if he's breathing out everything that hurts. ]

Light of my life. Light of my fucking life.