A newly converted rat has a birthday

[inthesaferoom]

Let's hope no ghosts or babies crash the party. Maybe babies I guess, as long as they stay on the insides.

Comments

[inthesaferoom]

Look I know this is on me for not setting boundaries sooner

But I have to try to actually want to have a life

[xmascake]

And does that life of yours still involve murdering people who mildly inconvenience you by having fucked your rat

Does it involve you keeping cameras in the bedroom to watch him sleep and jack off and cry and whatever the hell else he does

Is that the life you’re gonna fight so hard for. Really

[inthesaferoom]

lol

I don't have cameras anymore and beating someone and gaslighting them isn't what you said at all

Like c'mon at least get it right

It's not like you're going to take out the literal thing that hurt me in a bad sort of way

cn: abuse apology ?? I’M SORRY HE’S LIKE THIS

[xmascake]

So this guy just what. Tamed you? Made you commit when you didn’t want to? Turned you into everything you weren’t

And come on. After spending five minutes with the guy I could tell he loves getting knocked the fuck out

I offered to help you but you didn’t want that. That’s how me and Gavin are different

[inthesaferoom]

Why the fuck did you spend time with him

More like I made him commit? I know it's going to last exactly five minutes. I don't care as long as I have those five minutes.

I'm not talking about the wendigo shit

cn: Grady stuff ? noncon mentions although he frames it as consensual

[xmascake]

Don’t think the “why” there is exactly pertinent, babe 🥴

And I’m talking about everything. Everything. You want me to kill this guy? Would have. For you. Not him.

Meanwhile he’s beating around the bush, isn’t he? Refuses to even say no to this guy. Fucking making out with him in the bathroom and getting on his knees to suck his dick. Because that’s what he likes, isn’t it? Being treated like shit

Enjoy your five minutes of that, sure. But can you see why I say you deserve fucking better

I know you don’t want the truth but even if I kill this guy, or you kill him, or you get someone else to kill him, there’s going to be another. Someone like Gavin thrives on this bullshit

CW dv, sa

[inthesaferoom]

Okay cool I know we have some different experiences or whatever but you going to tell me my mom deserved everything she got

Or that I wanted and asked for it when some toaster decided I was better to try to break and use

Because you might want to think about how to tread carefully here

[xmascake]

Wasn’t talking about your mom. Wasn’t talking about you either, for once. You know that’s different. You know.

Was talking about a guy so messed up he begs to be hit. Because to him that’s love, isn’t it? You could give him the sun and moon but that’ll never be enough. Because he wants to be hurt. And you can’t give him that, can you? But other people can.

Are you really going to tell me he’s never asked you? Not once.

Keep saying you deserve better but you’re not listening.

[inthesaferoom]

No I don't know. Why do you think it's different huh.

[ He's ignoring the rest. Just ignoring it. ]

cn: more noncon portrayed as consensual as an additional warning uhhhh

[xmascake]

Because you don’t pop a boner when that same ex who used to beat the shit out of you throws you to the floor in a bathroom. You don’t kiss his feet without even being asked. You don’t start unzipping his pants and take out his dick without even being ASKED.

And when he comes in your mouth you don’t beg for more, you don’t start taking your clothes off, your shirt. And you don’t moan when he bites you and you don’t tell him you wish it were him. The one whose bed you get into at night, the person you come home to. You don’t thank him when he tells you how you don’t deserve love, warmth, safety, security, anything.

You don’t yearn for all that despite knowing you have love at home.

So. Yeah. Gonna say it’s different. Would say I’m sorry for not wanting that for you but I’m not. Not sorry at all. You deserve better and I’m not gonna lie and say you don’t

CONNOR STYLE POINTING A GUN AT CRIME

[inthesaferoom]

Hey don't talk to me for awhile if ever

Or you might be begging for something too

Evil Mike is a crime, isn’t he

[xmascake]

Cool. You’re mad at me for telling you the truth. Shit I saw myself.

Maybe talk to your rat thing??? Nasty little thing

You know where to find me.

[inthesaferoom]

Nope I'm mad at you for twisting shit because you're pissed

Looks like we're not the same person at all because I know better

[xmascake]

Yeah? Then go and ask him. Ask him what happened.

Except you’re not going to ask because you couldn’t handle the truth, could you

I’ll still be here. Even when he isn’t.

[inthesaferoom]

Don't need to ask shit because there's something known as trust

But also if he didn't tell me there's a reason and it's more about why I suck than anything else

[xmascake]

So it’s your fault he’s getting beat up by and fucking his exes in various bathrooms across the Detroit metro area??

How is that on you. How is that on you at all

Cw addiction, fear of relapse

[inthesaferoom]

nah it's my fault I'm not reliable enough to trust with the details

But I'm just a ticking time bomb, I'm always five seconds away from a relapse and right now it's one who's going to trust that

And the worst fucking bit is I need to drop this conversation because we're both shitty for each other but if I do I'll get high. So. Cool

[xmascake]

What have you ever done to him that made him feel that way? That you’re unreliable? Because I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you didn’t do anything. Gonna say you’ve just loved him and this is how he’s rewarded you

[ And Gavin’s a dick, he wants to say. ]

Why are you at a one, here? Why exactly. And don’t you dare say it’s me, because you just said you’ll go get high if we stop talking.

So.

[inthesaferoom]

What haven't I done really. Nick was right Klaus was wrong. Don't have anything to be proud of when you're a ticking time bomb

It doesn't matter. Sometimes you have to admit to being a lost cause. Loser?

autocorrect: you’veer? no I don’t think so lmao

[xmascake]

If Gavin makes you feel like you’ve done everything wrong, why are you with him

Why are you marrying him

Not a lost cause to me. Never.

I read that as veneers, cw psychiatric neglect

[inthesaferoom]

He doesn't it's all me

I just know a lost cause

I don't even bother with my meds anymore why replace one thing with another

[xmascake]

Yeah? Well fuck you. I don’t think you’re a lost cause. You’re not. After everything you’ve been through? Not a lost cause.

And fuck Gavin for not seeing you need help

[inthesaferoom]

I mean yeah get pissed at me, you deserve that

[xmascake]

Not pissed at you

...OK yeah I am but it’s more like being pissed FOR you

Take your meds and come over and let me fuck you or let me hold you or whatever the hell you need right now. And I know you’re gonna bring up the sex thing but I’m saying if YOU want it

Let me make you feel better. However you might want that

[inthesaferoom]

People can't help if you're not up front with them there's nothing to be pissed over

I'm the bad guy here I don't say shit