unhingedchaos | A cop has a birthday.

You say that as if I know???? You think my ex wife tells me shit?

enjoy hell I guess. Congrats?

lol try again I've seen pics, you can put your dick in that but not me Waaaay better taste here

Clearly you’ve got dogshit taste if you’re dating one of my exes

[ Can’t be someone from before his marriage, right? So it has to be Gavin. ]

You that freak who’s always hanging down at the station? Would’ve thought you were his stalker, not his husband. Soon to be. Whatever

shhh don't kinkshame Where do I send the beers

Figured you’d have my address, seeing how Gavin lived here for like a month

Uh I mean not. Like that. Nothing happened it wasn’t like that. He just needed a place to crash

I mean, I do, but I'm trying not to terrify you. But if that's out of the question, you should know if you call being with him bad taste again I'll beat you half to death with one of those beers Again: happy birthday

That sounds like something Gav would say. He’s been rubbing off on you, huh

You gonna call me a dipshit next or what

Weird of you not to think I wasn't like this already Sure. Dipshit Anyway I have a real good present for you but you have to agree to terms you ready

Don’t you get all fucking glittery at me. But yeah. Sure . Give me your terms

[ Just playing along for now. ]

What, like this? Okay so are you capable of sex without thinking about feelings This is important IMPORTANT

Well that. Wasn’t what I was expecting. Guess you’re Gav’s guy. Should’ve expected even weirder

And this is a birthday present. For me. Sex without ✨✨ FEELINGS ✨

Yes? When isn't it a present come on Don't distract me by calling me things I can't respond normally about. Stop it

He’s really got you by the short and curlies, huh. Really managed to do all that

OK so unless you’re also into old men, you want me to fuck Gav. That’s my birthday present except it’s really a gift for Gav. And possibly yourself ???

Sorry no pause that what does the first shit mean

Gav’s got you whipped. Wrapped around his little finger. His dick. I dunno

Got you licking his boots. Wouldn’t surprise me

So here's the difference between you and me You think that's an insult, a bad thing I think it's great, more of it in my life actually And that's why you're never going to have him, hope this helps

Can see why he likes you. You’re his little bitch, aren’t you

Wasn’t saying it like an insult. Was impressed, actually. Gav’s not the settling sort. I’m sure he told you about how he dropped me like a rock.

So. Good for you. And him. As long as he’s happy.

I think we take turns on that actually Sure but that was different. Don't think even he understands so you clearly wouldn't Anyway what do you know about cucking

Yeah yeah. I’m just a dumb old bear and you and Gav are mutually bitches. Got it.

So Gav’s gone and wrangled himself a cuckold, huh. Gone and got himself a little cuck

You do realize this is a weird conversation, right. You want me to fuck your husband despite knowing that I’ve also fucked him?

There there pat pat I guess? Someone's out there for you. Or something idk, let's move on. So I'm supposed to ask someone who doesn't know what he likes and he might actually develop feelings for? Nah

What makes you think he’d develop “feelings” for some stranger he fucks? Not trying to be a dick here. Isn’t that kind of his thing? NOT liking people?

Or liking people but being in denial. Whatever

As if I'm bringing a stranger into this? Next you're going to suggest a plastic detective freak. Don't actually be a dipshit, come on.

Oh. MY BAD. Who’re you gonna bring in that Gav knows, then? Allen ??? Jesus. You better fucking not

You do realize Gavin’s circle consists of basically no one, right? Unless you’re counting all his geriatric conquests who he ghosted after he fucked them, then sure. Lots to pick from there. He’s probably fucked his way through the 50+ population of Detroit. Hell, the Detroit metro area

Dare I say all of Michigan?>????

Edited (had to add the last bit) 2025-09-09 00:22 (UTC)

Like I would ever talk to that fucking guy, the only reason he isn't dead is I slipped up and timed a bomb wrong Wait you're a cop pretend I didn't say shit I think you think I care if he's fucked people. I know who he's fucking now

You fucking WHAT

No. You know what. I’m the one who’s had to take Gav home after he’s gotten in bar fights with Allen. My couch he’d crash on after Allen would beat the shit out of him and kick his ass out for some bullshit reason. Took his keys and his phone and tried to make him sleep outside in the rain. In the cold.

I’m the one who’s seen the aftermath of all that shit.

So sure. Nice joke there. Or shitty. Whatever. Stop that. Absolutely don’t do it right next time

Anyway. Just trying to say there aren’t many people Gavin knows who he’d still want to fuck. With the whole cuck thing.

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I read this wrong at first I thought Mike meant pics of Hank’s dick

Mike suddenly into real old people, older than Gavin is (and Hank's dick?)

Gavin like ah yes Mike you finally see the elderly light

They take a cucking trip to a nursing home idk

LMFAOOOO Gavin like NO!!! Unless 👀

All the resuscitation equipment being prepared in advance

RESUSCITATION EQUIPMENT LMAO

It's not dicks! Though that could probably bring Gavin back to life

the older the better tbh

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LOL

Mike like Go On

🥾👅🐀👅👢

LOL

The fucking subject swerve lmfao

It's Mike, you have to expect it

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I like how Mike keeps saying Gavin didn't change him

adorable omg

WHOOPS NEW INFORMATION -

cn: mentions of abuse / Garbage Grady (his new name). ASSHOLE ALLEN