unhingedchaos | Wait another birthday? RICKROLLING BIRTHDAYS??? ORIGINAL RAT FLAVOR????

[ A cake on the table after Mike wakes up. He doesn't bother making a real breakfast, it's all about the cake that absolutely has as much chocolate on the inside as possible. He knows who he's catering to, did you expect otherwise? Multiple presents on the table in rat themed wrapping. One is large and squishy, the rest in various boxes.

And? It's all been left in the kitchen but Mike's not there. Sleeping is impossible at the moment but that doesn't mean he's not in bed. It just means that the sleeping Gavin is being given that moony eyed dipshit look. Enjoy that while you're sleeping, cop rat clown. ]

[ Gavin doesn’t know he’s dreaming. He’s lying in bed; hears a commotion outside. Remembers he left the window open, and then someone is crawling through. Someone dangerous.

In reality, Gavin is smacking his lips. Drooling. Making snorting sounds every so often. Eyelids fluttering. Wriggling around like a rat.

Definitely an attractive sleeper.

Ugly hops up on the bed, slinking between them. Fluffy tail brushing Gavin’s face as he tries to butt at Mike’s head.

“Mrrrrao,” says Ugly, with his fishy breath. ]

Edited (I had to add the fishy breath it’s important) 2025-10-14 05:55 (UTC)

[ Okay but to Mike, Gavin sure as hell is an attractive sleeper? He's into it. Not so much Ugly's fishy breath though, especially because it makes morning sickness less an option and more a hard reality. He shoves the cat's face away, keeping a hand there to separate a bit of distance between their faces.

He's learned how to both dismiss a cat and make them feel like they're getting attention, okay? A fucking feline whisperer. Meanwhile, on his own birthday, Gavin had been great about not waking him up. Not so here, as Mike wants to do exactly that. Hmm. Already planning possible ways he can pretend wasn't him.

He looks at Ugly. ]

...get him.

[ “Mrrr,” chirps Ugly. A chatty boy, when it comes to Mike. He licks that hand before turning, his fluffy tail swishing against Mike’s face now. Pawing at Gavin’s chest before he starts kneading. Claws digging at Gavin enough to wake him up. ]

Ugh.

[ He wraps his arms around Ugly, hugging him to his chest. Gavin makes chirping sounds right back at Ugly, mocking his displeasure at being held and, perhaps, pleas for kibble. The soft, gross kind, probably.

Gavin blinks at Mike. Still heavy from his dream, with a line of drool dripping down his chin. ]

Ugh.

[ He tries to sound annoyed, but there’s a small smile on his lips. ]

You should probably wipe your face before I lose my fucking sense.

[ He states this as if it's reasonable. To Mike it is, okay? He makes no apologies for what he likes. He pats Ugly on the ass, kind of trying to placate him so he tolerates being held a moment longer.

For a moment, this makes him miss Wolfie but he pushes it away as he always does. It's getting easier to bury, even if it's not easier to bear. ]

Happy birthday, old man.

The hell are you talking about?

[ It takes a second for Gavin to realize he’s drooling.

And another to realize the implications of such. Not that he would’ve expected his sleep-drool to be arousing, but here they are.

And a third second to use Ugly to wipe off his chin. ]

Not old, dickwad.

[ Ugly’s response to that butt pat is to nuzzle against Gavin’s chest, as if he were the one doing the petting. ]

[ Mike points Ugly right in the face. His face is stern as if he's actually pissed, but he's just in a good mood and messing around. It's not that serious. ]

I won't forget what you've stolen from me today. Count your days, mophead.

[ He then boops Ugly right on the nose before lowering his hand. ]

Not old? You're practically over the hill. It's okay, I know how to use my mouth to revive people.

[ Ugly wriggles against Gavin, rolling onto his side to show his tummy. He knows not the value of what he has stolen. ]

I’m old, huh?

[ Gavin scritches under Ugly’s chin as he purrs. ]

You into old men now? Thought that was my thing.

[ He might not ever be totally secure with their age difference, but they at least had that heart to heart, and the whole vowing to minimize their dipshittery. Gavin is still, for now, assuming good faith on Mike’s part. That he wants him, and all that nonsense. ]

Nope. Absolutely not.

[ Mike just lets that hang in there air for a second, not because he's trying to be an asshole, but because he values significant timing. He then leans over that cat and presses a quick kiss.

He doesn't really pull away after, only enough to look him in the eye. ]

Just you. Only you.

[ Gavin rolls his eyes. Still half asleep, maybe, but he’s awake enough to try and nip at Mike’s lip as he goes in for that kiss.

Not exactly a nice guy to wake up to — or a nice guy in general. ]

You always say shit like that. C’mon. You’ve never been attracted to a guy over the age of, what? Twenty? Twenty-five?

That's not what I'm saying. Sure, a long time ago.

[ It's not as if he wants Gavin to be a nice guy? He knows exactly who he chose and he's not changing his mind. He crosses his own eyes at him and sticks out his tongue like he's going to express everything he feels with a dumb look on his face. ]

What I'm telling you is I'm only attracted to you now. Deal with my obsessive hyperfocus, dammit.

If they're not rat then I just don't fucking care about it.

What is it with you and rats?

[ Just for that — and because he’s in a good-slash-bratty mood — Gavin swipes his own tongue across Mike’s. Oops? ]

You can find other people attractive, you know. It isn’t gonna kill me. But I won’t say I totally hate the whole...

[ Mumbling: ] “Obsessive hyperfocus” thing.

[ For however long it might last. ]

Sure, I know I can, but I don't. Not going to force myself to.

[ It's not exactly how he's representing it. The idea of sex in general terrifies him more often than not now, after his own damn birthday. But it's not like Gavin isn't a safe person. So if he gets scared with him, he just ignores it and pushes himself through.

Probably not the right move but what else is he supposed to do? He's not explaining it. The entire thing is fucking stupid, no matter what the new therapist he actually tries to talk to says about it.

He doesn't object to the tongue swipe. He just kind of looks down at Ugly between them. ]

This guy should probably move, yeah?

And I’m not gonna force you, either. Just — you’d tell me if you felt trapped.

[ It’s both a question and not. ]

Mmm, no. Think Ug’s just fine where he’s at. You got plans, or what?

[ Gavin cups Mike’s face. Thumb rubbing along his cheek. ]

Let me make you breakfast.

I'd tell you but I don't. I would tell you, I keep my promises.

[ He looks at him. He's been thinking of those promises more like they were some kind of vows, but he hasn't really said it. Still, in his own head, that counted as a goddamn commitment ceremony and he's signed up for life.

It doesn't matter what actual ceremony gets done, this guy is already his husband and Mike is his, thanks. It's just that Gavin himself probably hasn't figured it out yet. He closes his eyes for a moment or two at the touch. ]

There's already stuff in the kitchen. Not exactly proper breakfast though.

Already stuff in the kitchen, huh?

[ Which sounds ominous, but Gavin’ll bite.

He sits up slow, letting go of Ugly. Unleashing him upon the bed. If it were any of the other cats, they probably would’ve hightailed it out of here, but Ugly makes himself at home: kneading the foot of the bed. Wherever smells like Mike is his home. ]

Stop being all cute. Can’t be cute when there’s food waiting. You’ll distract me.

[ He leans down to kiss Mike’s forehead. And, see: he just stays there, propping himself up with a hand on either side of Mike. ]

...Already distracting me.

How am I being cute?

[ Mike raises an eyebrow at him, pretty much saying he questions his taste, but with his face instead of his words. It's not like he objects, he just doesn't understand.

Then he proceeds to not help with the distraction in any way, by putting his arms around Gavin's neck. ]

I can't stop if I don't know what I'm even doing.

Okay, now that is not something I can just explain.

[ Because it’s everything about Mike. Every goddamn expression. Every gesture. And it’s not like he wants Mike to stop being himself. ]

You can’t just go and... arms.

[ Which is helpful, right? Descriptive?

Gavin pouts. Should probably pull away, but... he doesn’t really want to. Not now that things are finally starting to feel right again. ]

You know I get horny when you do shit like this, right? Arms.

[ ...He says again, as if that explains anything better this second time. ]

Sure. That's why I've been spending more time on them in the gym.

[ Because he wanted to make sure they were as prime as they could get for this guy's birthday, okay? But he doesn't say more to admit that. He just leaves it hanging in the air as something implied.

And then, just to put a nail in the coffin, he moves one of his arms to a more visually obvious place and flexes. ]

[ Gavin stares at Mike’s arm as he flexes. Blinking. Looking like a right proper idiot, he knows.

Then, finally, his gaze eases back to Mike’s face. ]

Right. Yeah. Don’t know how you’re being cute, do you? Bullshit. Bullshit. You were sent here just to torment me with how sexy you are. Oh my god.

[ Now he starts trying to wriggle out of Mike’s grip, albeit halfheartedly. ]

Tell me at least you haven’t gone and hurt yourself. Haven’t pushed yourself too hard while you’re at the gym, and... arms.

[ Sorry, he’s looking at Mike’s arm again. ]

Of course not. [ Mike's miffed at the very idea, thanks? He knows how to do everything properly. ] I'm focusing more on one part so I can work my way up to everything again. Doubly useful, you know?

[ He definitely lost a lot of capability, being in the hospital like that. But working out helps, both physically and mentally.

Then he grins and moves his arm back, holding on way too tight for getting away to be any form of easy. ]

Is it torment if I'll give you whatever you want? Do anything you ask for?

Is that really such torture?

Yup. Definitely useful.

[ Gavin is listening. He is hearing the words coming out of Mike’s mouth, but he’s focusing on certain phrases. ]

Torment. Torture. Yeah.

[ He shivers at the sheer strength of Mike’s arms. Wasn’t on his bingo card today, no, but he can make room. Can always make room. ]

Did you have anything in mind while you were working out those arms of yours, or is it really just... whatever I want?

[ Gavin is pounting again, lips pursed, but this time it’s because he’s confused. Still dragging himself out of that post-sleep state, but Mike’s good at helping with that. Not a dream, no, but it feels like one. ]

Whose birthday is it? Of course it's whatever you want.

[ Mike can't help but kiss that pout, okay? That's what's cute here, not anything about Mike himself. He pulls back enough that it's not really a kiss anymore but not too much. He wants to make it a temptation that he's not currently fulfilling. A little bit of that torment?

And just to make it worse, he's going to yap. ]

I really like close-grip benches, you know? But I can't do those reps yet, it's too much on the chest. Haven't recovered yet.

So I'm staying more on shit like tricep cable pushdowns, you know? More power to isolation movements.

[ Just yapping. Just looking at him from up close. Just occasionally flexing some more. ]

[ Grumbling: ] Not my birthday.

[ Except it is, and Gavin knows it is. It just doesn’t feel fair, after the fuckery that was Mike’s birthday. Doesn’t feel fair at all.

It’s absolutely torment, especially with how Gavin is somehow managing to keep himself from chasing another kiss. Somehow. He closes his eyes as Mike kisses him, though; keeps them closed even after for a while.

He’s down hard, okay? Down fucking hard, even when it’s hard to express that. ]

Yup. Benches. Power to those isolation movements, yeah.

[ Gavin opens his eyes. Cups Mike’s cheek again. ]

Glad you’re being… safe.

I'm, uh.

[ He nuzzles that hand a little as he thinks about how he could put this. Clearing his throat, it's a time to feel awkward. But he thinks it needs saying. The way this will hopefully be assuring. ]

I'm doing all the shit I agreed to. Intense therapy for awhile. It feels like a lot but they're teaching me shit to do instead of giving in if I feel like self abuse.

[ He despises every single pill every time he takes one but he's working out how to deal with that, too. He hasn't moved from the stage of doing it all for someone else but occasionally there's flashes. A glimpse of what it might be like if he cared about himself. ]

So you don't have to worry about that, okay?

no subject

RAT THEMED WRAPPING lmfao cop rat clown sdghsgd (also cn: nightmare)

no subject

no subject

Keywords applicable except not because he's trying to be normal

A+ for effort

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

CW PTSD consequences

no subject

no subject

HUSBANDS 💝

Ugly like Mike is my territory too

we stan Ugly, and Ugly stans Mike

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

I think Mike was sent by the devil

I love that you mention that because I almost had Gavin say that LOL

he should lol